How dare you Barack Obama. How dare you sir!

Here I am enjoying a light snack of pastrami, potato chips and wasabi mustard on rye sandwich with a side of a quarter chicken, then I read your comments that America already has one Dr. Phil (implying not to subtly that we don't need another one), and I nearly choked on my meats.

Basically Obama was yapping about how McCain says we're in a psychological recession. And then he mentioned we don't need another me. Frankly I think the connection was kind of a stretch. I mean once I did a show called My Economist is in Stagflation Denial, but that was for a special tax week show, so the connection remains tenuous.

What bothers me the most about this Barack, is as a public figure, I strive to stay apolitical. The other day on a show called My Teen is Using Abortion as Birth Control, I would have liked to share my opinion on the moral and spiritual dilemma, but I stayed diplomatically neutral in the debate -- save for my disapproving glowers at the teen hussies.

The truth is my views on abortion are very complicated. I think a judge -- me -- should decide every single abortion case in front of a national audience. I will take many factors in account: the socioeconomic status of the parents, who the crowd hoots for more, etc. With a little luck it will be a referendum on the national ballot in November.

But if there were another Dr. Phil, you do bring up a good point Barack. Would America need it? I might agree with you that we don't. I cover a lot of ground, and Dr. Phil 2 would have to sit idly and watch me kick so much patootie that no more patootie would be left over for him to so much wave a foot at.

Perhaps I could use Dr. Phil 2 to pick up my dry cleaning, build my sandwiches or build even more sandwiches. It is certainly something to consider.