Hello friends,

Well, it’s been a rough week for Iraq, and a bad week for McCain. That’s the problem with basing your entire campaign on the prospects of the most unstable region on the planet. Who thought of that idea? I bet it was McKinnon. Son of a bitch.

So since I can’t play the Iraq card, I’m switching back to my other strength—the economy card. Now, friends, I know I’ve said before that I don’t understand economics. But clearly, without Iraq, I kind of have to. So I’ve been studying up on the current crisis. Get ready for some straight talk.

Okay, let’s see, uh…first there’s the houses. Millions of people bought houses, and um, well, they moved in. And then the housing market went down, and the people couldn’t pay. Okay here’s the part where I usually get confused.

The…uh…banks, big banks...bought the…debt? Or no wait, the hedge funds did something. Didn't they? Now I’m not so sure.

Hold on, Mother wants me to tell you something. What’s that mother? All right. Yes, Mother I will tell them, go back to bed, it’s a quarter past seven. Mother wants me to tell you she bought her first house for $76 in 1914. She had too much sugar in her oatmeal earlier at dinner, she’s kind of overexcited.

Anyway I have completely lost my train of thought on this financial stuff. And I was really on a roll, too. Well, I have to get back to my biography tour—next stop Houston. I’ll be discussing my latency phase.

(Photo credit: Associated Press)